Taught by Kids

If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with rollerblades, they can ignite.
A 3-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a restaurant.
If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing batman underwear and a spiderman cape.
Corollary: It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room.
You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.
When using the ceiling fan as a bat you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit.
A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
The glass in windows (even double-paned) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh" it's already too late.
Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke. Lots of it.
A 6 year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.
A king sized waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old.
Duplos will not.
PlayDough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence.
Superglue is forever.
No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool, you still can't walk on water.
Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
VCR's do not eject peanut butter and jelly sandwiches even though TV commercials show that they do.
Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
You probably don't want to know what that odor is.
Always look in the oven before you turn it on.
Plastic toys do not like ovens.
The fire department in Austin, TX has at least a 5 minute response time.
The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.