Diminished Fifth - An empty bottle of Jack Daniel's
Perfect Fifth - A full bottle of Jack Daniel's
Ritard - There's one in every family
Relative Major - An uncle in the Marines
Relative Minor - A girlfriend
Big Band - When the bar pays enough to bring two banjo players for "Dueling Banjos"
Pianissimo - "Refill this beer bottle"
Repeat - What you do until they expel you
Treble - Women ain't nothin' but.
Bass - The things you run around in baseball
Portamento - A foreign country you've always wanted to see
Conductor - The man who punches your ticket to Nashville
Arpeggio - "Ain't he the storybook kid with the nose that grows?"
Tempo - A good choice for a car.
A 440 - The highway that runs around Nashville.
Transpositions - Men who wear dresses
Cut time - Parole
Order of Sharps - What a wimp gets at the bar
Passing Tones - Frequently heard near the baked beans at family BBQs.
Middle C - The only fruit drink you can afford when food stamps are low.
Cadenza - That ugly thing your wife always vacuums dog hair off of when company
comes.
Perfect Pitch - The smooth coating on a freshly paved road.
Tuba - A compound word, i.e.: "Hey, woman! fetch me another tuba Brylcream."
Whole Note - What's due after failing to pay the mortgage after a whole year.
Clef - What you try not to fall off of.
Bass Clef - Where you wind up if you do fall off.
Altos - Not to be confused with "Tom's Toes," "Bubba's Toes," or "Dori-toes."
Minor Third - Your approximate age at the completion of formal schooling.
Melodic Minor - Loretta Lynn's singing dad
Aolean Mode - How you like Mama's cherry pie.
Bach Chorale - The place behind the barn where you keep the horses.
12-tone Scale - The thing the State Police weigh your tractor-trailer truck with.
Quarter Tone - What most standard pick-up trucks can haul.
Sonata - What you get from a bad cold or hay fever.
Clarinet - Name used on your second daughter if you already used Betty-Jo.
Cello - The way to answer the phone if you're gonna be proper.
Bassoon - Typical response when asked what you hope to catch and when you hope
to catch it.
French Horn - Your wife says you smell like a cheap one when you come in at 4 A.M.
Cymbal - What they use on deer crossing signs, so you know what to sight your pistol wth.
Bossa Nova - The car your foreman drives
Time Signature - What you need from your boss when you forget to clock in.
First Inversion - Grandpa's battle group at Normandy
Staccato - How you did all your ceilings in your mobile home.
Major Scale - What you say after chasing wild game up a mountain: "Damn, that was
a Major Scale."
