Backwoods Computer Definitions

LOG ON: Makin a wood stove hotter.
LOG OFF: Don't add no more wood.
MONITOR: Keepin an eye on the wood stove.
DOWNLOAD: Gettin the firewood off the truck.
MEGA HERTZ: When your not careful getting the firewood.
FLOPPY DISC: What you get from trying to carry too much firewood.
RAM: That there thing that splits the firewood.
HARD DRIVE: Getting home in the wintertime.
PROMPT: What the mail ain't in the wintertime.
WINDOWS: What to shut when it's cold outside.
SCREEN: What to shut when it's black fly season.
BUTE: What them dang flies do.
CHIP: Munchies for the TV.
MICRO CHIP: What's in the bottom of the munchie bag.
MODEM: What ya did to the hay fields.
DOT MATRIX: Old Dan Matrix's wife.
LAP TOP: Where the kitty sleeps.
KEYBOARD: Where ya hang the dang keys.
SOFTWARE: Them dang plastic forks and knives your wife makes you use.
MOUSE: What eats the grain in the barn.
MAINFRAME: Holds up the barn roof.
PORT: Nany Flatlander wine.
ENTER: Northerner talk for "C'mon in y'all."
RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY: When you can't remember what ya paid for the rifle when your wife asks.
MOUSE PAD: That hippie talk for the rat hole.