Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making
unexpected changes to the accounting software; severely limiting access to wardrobe, flower and jewelry applications that
operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition,
Husband 1.0 uninstalls many other valuable programs such as Dinner Dancing 7.5, CruiseShip 2.3, and OperaNight 6.1 and installs
new, undesirable programs such as PokerNight 1.3, SaturdayFootball 5.0, Golf 2.4 and Clutter Everywhere 4.5. Also, Conversation
8.0 no longer runs, and invariably crashes the system. Under no circumstances will it run DiaperChanging 14.1 or HouseCleaning
2.6. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix Husband 1.0, but this all purpose utility is of limited effectiveness.
Signed Jane
Dear Jane: This is a very common problem, but it is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people
upgrade from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 with no idea that Boyfriend 5.0 is merely an entertainment package, while Husband
1.0 is an Operating System designed by its creator to run as few applications as possible. Further, you cannot purge Husband
1.0 and return to Boyfriend 5.0, because Husband 1.0 is not designed to do this. Hidden operating files within your system
would cause Boyfriend 5.0 to emulate Husband 1.0, gaining no additional functionality. It is impossible to uninstall, delete,
or purge the program files from the system, once installed. Any new program files can only be installed once per year, as
Husband 1.0 has severely limited memory. Error messages are common, and a normal part of Husband 1.0. In desperation to play
some of their legacy applications,or to get new applications to work, some users have tried to install Boyfriend 6.0, or Husband
2.0. However these users end up with more problems than encountered with Husband 1.0. Refer to your manual under "Warnings:
Divorce/Child Support". You will notice that this program runs very poorly, and comes bundled with HeartBreak 1.3. I recommend
you keep Husband 1.0, and just learn the quirks of this strange and illogical system.
Having Husband 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General
Partnership Faults [GPFs]. This is a wonderful feature of Husband 1.0, secretly installed by the parent company as an integral
part of the operating system. Husband 1.0 must assume ALL responsibility for ALL faults and problems, regardless of root cause.
To activate this enhanced feature enter the command "C:\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME". Sometimes Tears 6.2 must be run simultaneously
while entering the command. Husband 1.0 should then run the applications Apologize 12.3 and Flowers/Chocolates 7.8.
- TECH TIP! Avoid excessive use of this feature.
Overuse can create additional and more serious GPFs, and ultimately YOU may have to give a C:\ IAPOLOGIZE
command before the system will return to normal. Overuse can also cause Husband 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence 2.5, or (worse
yet) Beer 6.0. Be advised that Beer 6.0 is an inhibitive program causing Husband 1.0 to create FatBelly files and SnoringLoudly
wave files very hard to delete. Save yourself additional trouble by following this tech tip!
Remember! The system will run smoothly, and take the blame for all GPFs, but because of this feature
it can only intermittently run applications that Boyfriend 5.0 ran. Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited
memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. Consider buying additional software to improve performance. I recommend
HotFood 3.0, Lingerie 5.3 and Patience 10.1. Used in conjunction, these utilities usually help keep Husband 1.0 running smoothly.
After several years of use, Husband 1.0 will become familiar and you will find many valuable embedded
features such as FixBrokenThings 2.1, Snuggling 4.2 and BestFriend 7.6. A final word of caution! Do NOT, under any circumstances,
install MotherInLaw 1.0. This is not a supported application, and will cause selective shutdown of the operating system. Husband
1.0 will run only Fishing 9.4 and Hunting 5.2 until MotherInLaw 1.0 is uninstalled.
I hope these notes have helped. Thank you for choosing to install Husband 1.0 and we here at Tech Support
wish you the best of luck in coming years. We trust you will learn to fully enjoy this product!
Sincerely, Tech Support
