I wish I understood men.
Nah, I take it back, I wish I understood one particular man. I know for sure I'm never going to understand
women, but other than this guy, I can deal with men. Guys really aren't that bad, once you realize that ego, machismo, and
insecurity is present in every single guy - it's only the way it is masked that's different. My particular favorites are the
guys who have themselves convinced they are knights in shining armor, but that's a whole other thing...
Anyhow...
This guy's quite close to me, but recently, he has changed remarkably. He believes strictly in logic.
He is my archetype for GenX. His apathy was once un-ending and applied to everything, everything, everything. His favorite
joke nowadays, in his more-sensitive state, is that he'd rather be killing baby seals. He has no social consience. None. Whatsoever.
He admits this openly. He finds that funny, too. I find it disturbing in a very subconscious and psychological way. Granted,
I am not a sensitive, hug-everybody, loving kind of person, but I do realize that some very horrible things have been done
in this world that do not need to be revisited in jest. He doesn't do these things as if it were all as game, he does them
because he really does believe that he is entertaining. I am truly disheartened by this. His apathy has, admittedly, gone
the way of the dodo, but I see that it has been replaced by blatant lack of compassion for anyone but himself.
He also complains of intensely violent dreams - dreams that rival my own for their granduer of gore.
While professing outwardly - no, not professing, demanding that he is a pacifist in every aspect of life....to the point where
he physically cannot bring himself to hit a punching bag, he has these dreams quite constantly. Hrmm.... Now, I'm no psych
major, but this seems to be a rather obvious affect of this guy's repression - not just of anger, but of everything. I do
hope he doesn't have any sort of psychotic break while I am around.
I'm certainly not suggesting that everyone should stop and care for the microbe next to them, as I
am not willing to do that, but everyone reaches an age where they realize that the world is simply a messed up place. It's
disillusioning, but exciting at the same time - I hope you've reached it. I guess all I'm really in search of is not being
reminded of it's more gruesome aspects every 30 seconds with the expectation that I'll laugh. Sometimes it's funny, sometimes
it's ridiculous.
Is this a mass thing? Is it the direction for my generation? I hope not. If it is, I think my day with
an automatic weapon and a crowded room is approaching much, much faster..... and that will just be the murders of my friends....
the rest of you get beheaded by olive fork because I love olive forks and not you.
