The English Language!
Lets face it. English is a strange language. There is no egg in the eggplant.
No ham in the hamburger. And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England. French
fries were not invented in France.
We sometimes take English for granted, but if we examine its paradoxes we find that:
Quicksand
takes you down slowly.
Boxing rings are square.
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
If writers
write, how come fingers don't fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth, shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth?
If the teacher taught, why didn't the preacher praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what the heck does a humanitarian
eat!?
Why do people recite at a play, yet play at a recital?
Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language where a house can burn up as it burns down.
And in which you fill in a form by filling it out.
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
English was invented by people, not computers and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which
of course isn't a race at all). That is why:
When the stars are out they are visible, ut when the lights are out they
are invisible.
And why it is that when I wind up my watch it starts. But when I wind up this poem, it ends.
One last note, why do I have to push Start to shut down my computer? I don't simply blame Bill Gates,
rather the entire language.
